Dear Single Mom with the help sign at Walmart

Dear Single Mom who was holding a "please help" sign outside of Walmart last night,

I saw you when I first pulled up late last night. It was dark outside, cold and close to 8pm. I was exhausted after a long, busy weekend, but I needed a few things, so grocery shopping was supposed to be a quick in and out experience for me.

But then I saw you. Holding that sign. Standing outside of the store alone. Your sign said "Single Mom with 3 kids. Please help. No money for food or rent".

And of course my heart sank.

My heart sank because I felt your stress. I felt your despair. I felt your desperation.

We might not all have the same struggles, but we all need to take care of each other regardless.

So I quickly went into to the store to finish my shopping and as the wind hit my face as I opened the doors to outside, I saw you there. I walked over to you and we locked eyes.

"Hi", I said to you. "My name is Erica. Is there anything I can do to help you? I'm a mom too. I'm sorry you're going through a hard time right now".

And we talked for a moment, as I asked you about your children and you told me that you had a four year old boy and two girls, ages eight and ten.

You had tears in your eyes. You looked so sad. You were shy and uncomfortable. I felt it.

You said that your mom was looking after your children right now and that you needed to take the bus home to get to them tonight.

I told you to wait and I went back inside the store, looking at my watch realizing that it was almost 9pm. My body ached, the exhaustion from the day had set in, but I walked down each aisle picking out food for you that I thought you would like. Food that I thought you could put in your children's lunch pails tomorrow. Cereal for the next morning, fruit, bread and bagels along with many other items that my own fridge is regularly stocked with.

I went to the till and the man at the cash register scanned each and every one of those items for me, and I handed over my bank card. It didn't matter to me how much it cost. You needed it. I could help.

Because we all need to help each other.

So I pushed my cart out of the store and handed you several grocery bags full of food.

Your eyes filled with tears yet again. You thanked me over and over again. I smiled at you and told you to take care. I then pulled my hood up over my head as the cold wind blew down my back, and I left quickly for my car.

I noticed that you watched as I pulled away.

As I headed for the exit, I had a curious feeling. I wondered what you'd do next. I wondered where you'd go. Would you be okay?

So I did a quick u-turn and pulled my car around so I could see you.

In the dark of the night, I noticed another woman who approached you. You knew her. She was with you. But she wasn't at the door with you when you were there with your sign only moments before.

She had been at the other door, on the other side of the store.

That other lady tucked her body behind the large garbage bins sitting at the doors and pulled out several bags of groceries of her own. You had hidden my groceries behind those same garbage bins.

My heart started beating quickly.

You collected your bags, said something to her that I couldn't hear, and then walked off together with your arms full of groceries.

I realized that both of you were doing the same thing that night. Both of you were together. Both of you were on a mission together.

As I began to realize the reality of the situation, I could feel my breath getting shallow. I could feel my heart start to race.

And I turned into a flippin' ninja spy.

I all of a sudden started ducking into empty parking spots, following both of you as you made your way through the parking lot. Slowly inching my way, zig-zagging through the parking lot, making sure that you didn't see me, but following your every move.

You walked far away from the store, through several parking lots, making your way up to another row of cars where I could see you both stop and look around, searching for something.

Then, just as I inched my way over to where you had stopped, I saw a van blink it's lights a few times at you, and you both quickly opened the doors and climbed in.

I pulled up closer and peered inside the van to see two men sitting in the front seat.

NO FREAKIN' WAY.

In a matter of minutes, seeing those two men with you, realizing that you were likely not a single mom at all, realizing that you were clearly not needing to get on a bus to get home to your children, I felt completely defeated.

Defeated because I believed you. Defeated because my faith in humanity was shaken. Defeated because a moment of trying to help out a fellow mama turned into a spy game which left me feeling sick to my stomach and exhausted.

Sick to my stomach because of course not everyone is truthful in this world, but I would like to think that MOST human beings are.

So I drove home, turning down the street as the street lights paved my way through the dark. I pulled into my driveway, and started pulling my grocery bags out of the car.

And of course as my heart was a wee big broken by what had just happened, I turned to walk up the driveway and my grocery bag broke and apples fell to the ground and started rolling down the dark driveway all over the place. So I ran to get them, bending over to grab speeding apples flying away from me, like a real life cartoon clip. It was ridiculous.

I gave up.

This day needed to be done.

"Your heart was in the right place" my husband told me as I re-told the entire story from start to finish.

But here is the thing, lady with the sign, you may have shaken my faith in humanity for a moment.

But it hasn't shaken it completely.

I wondered as I lay in bed last night what your life was really like at home. I bet you do have children. I don't doubt that. I bet you are struggling in some way--because isn't everyone? An elaborate act like this, that was clearly planned out, screams desperation to me--in some way or another. Maybe you really did need that food. Maybe you needed someone to show you a bit of love that day. Maybe those men in the van were your husbands and maybe they aren't treating you well. Maybe they forced you both to do what you did last night.

Or maybe not.

I'll never know.

But as I told my own children this story about you this morning before they went to school, I wanted to thank you. Because you see, I always always tell my kids that if you see someone in need, you help them. You think of others. You put yourself in others shoes. You care for people. You be the one that steps up and runs to grab the hand of the child being bullied. You be the one who picks up the friend or sibling who fell and scraped their knee. You be one who puts yourself out there to care for those around you.

So I'll keep telling them this. It won't stop me from that.





But I'll also now remind them that sometimes they might get burnt. Sometimes they might fall into a situation where people are not honest, like you. But then you know what? I'll also remind them that even a lady like you is a human, and let's not villainize people for the poor choices they make. Because we're all human and we're all just trying our best to make sense of this life that we're given and turn it into something amazing.

So you're welcome for the groceries, lady from Walmart. I hope you enjoy them and I hope that life in the weeks and months ahead brings you to better things. I really do.

Sincerely, 
Erica xo