Preschool and Growing up

I stare at my kids sometimes when they don't know I'm doing it. I stare at them and I can see them as teenagers. I try to envision what they are going to look like 10yrs from now. Mya will sit there, her wispy hair falling down to her shoulders, blue eyes staring straight through you--and I'm grateful that she'll have a brother by her side when she hits that age in her life, because when the boys come knocking--Carter will be there to greet them, shotgun in hand while extending his hand like a gentleman. Of course.

I look at Mya and I can see past the little 4yr old baby face that greets me each morning. I can see past the tiny shoes and cute hair bows. I can see a young woman sometimes...a young woman who has skills, passions, an education and a life of her own. I dream sometimes about what her life will look like years from now. Who will she be? Who will she love? What will she love? What experiences will she have? My daydreams for my kids fill my brain when I'm sitting staring at them.


And when I look at Carter, I can see a 16yr old boy in him all the time--hair all styled just so, because he's already in love with his hair gel and will ask everyone he meets if they like his "spiky hair". And when I watch his adoration for sports--when I watch him swing a bat and crack that ball across our court, or when I see his determination to get that puck into the net or try to master skateboard tricks that are far beyond his reach, I dream about what he will excel in and I'm excited to see where life leads him. What will he be interested in? What will he teach us? Who will he love? Where will life take him?

And I look at our sweet baby Sophia and I can't help but try to picture what she will look like as a toddler, running through our house, sleeping in a big girl bed and developing her own little personality just as her siblings have. In so many ways I wish I could keep her just as she is right now--that sweet tiny little baby. But I also can't wait for what her future holds for her.

I love dreaming of who they will be one day. I love dreaming of where our life will lead us through our kids. I love dreaming of where our family will end up years from now. Because life and growing up is a pretty wild experience and you just never know where it will take you.

So when I see them growing up right before my eyes, it doesn't make me sad. It doesn't make me want to go back--it doesn't make me want to stop it. Instead, it's exciting. Because one day Terry's and my life will be very different than what it is today. One day we won't be in this place of sleep deprivation and toddler craziness. One day we won't be reminding our two year old (almost 3yr old!) to be careful as he speeds off on his bike and tries to do crazy stunts off of skateboard ramps...we won't have to tell him to PLEASE stop climbing things--you're giving your mother a heart attack...because this is our life right now. Whatever the big boys are doing...well, that's what he thinks he can do. No fear. Complete confidence. He just goes for it. And if he falls? Well he barely takes notice--he just wipes himself off and gets right back up again.

It's hard to believe that he was once a tiny baby hooked up to machines in the NICU just after he was born.

So one day these days of having toddlers won't be here anymore. We won't be willing him to sleep in past 5:30am and we won't be shaking our heads laughing (or lots of times sighing--let's be honest here) every time that he shows us how he fits so perfectly into the stereotypical mold of a "little boy". Dirt. Danger. Speed. Loud. Funny. And that little popped collar, swagger that he has always had since the time that he started walking is why people jokingly called him our little frat boy--because he looked the part. Had the swagger. Had the style. Had the confidence. Had the big personality--the let's have a good time...and in case you didn't notice, I'm pretty hilarious kind of personality that we of course love him for. So as we travel through these toddler years of wiping the tears of 2yr old meltdowns, of putting band aids over scraped knees, and reminding him that not everyone wants to wrestle--no really, not everyone thinks it's fun buddy. I know--hard to believe. We will definitely miss all of the good, sweet, amazing stuff that comes along with it.

The hugs, the kisses, the way that he crawls up onto my lap and snuggles right in, and the way that his eyes light up every time that he sees me. I want to bottle those things up and never let them go. And yes, little boys can give you a run for your money--they can be loud and tiring. But he has my heart, and always will.

Our baby boy is growing up. And I kind of like it.

So yesterday was the start of something new. Something where this little boy of ours got to feel big.
He got to wear a backpack. Big deal stuff.

He started preschool.

So we packed his water bottle, an extra set of clothes and a snack, and he excitedly jumped around the house that morning willing the time to speed ahead until it was actually time to go.

And the expert school-going sister tried her best to help as she ran over to her little table and scribbled down something quickly then handed it to him---"Just in case you're a bit scared Carter at preschool today...you can keep this in your backpack".

 Love this.


So, he did great. He waved goodbye without even a glance back as I dropped him off, and I got a big thumbs up and "he did awesome" from his teachers when I picked him up a few hours later.

Life is a changin'. And it's all for the good.

Happy Thursday everyone,

Erica xo