Friday, 10 May 2013

Change--so much change

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Change is scary. But sometimes so so great.

I'm not exactly sure how I feel about big changes.

Sometimes I crave them. Like deciding to have another baby--that's a HUGE change to look forward to.

Scary? Yes.

Overwhelming? Certainly.

Wonderful? You bet.

I'd accept that change over and over again if I had full say in the matter (apparently though it's a good idea to consult your hubby before popping out a million babies...sigh).

Especially in the midst of a toddler temper tantrum or another sleepless night, I'll turn to Terry and say "Hey honey, I think we should switch our thinking about how many kids we want to have, throw caution to the wind, and just let God decide for us how big our family should be".

I smile at him as he glares at me and shakes his head from across the room.

Then when those magical, wonderful, amazing moments happen throughout the rest of the day, which they always do, especially if you look hard enough for them...

I look at him, and change looks so so appealing once again.

So although change can be scary and overwhelming, there are so many magical, wonderful moments and amazing experiences that can come from it. Therefore, if I look at change in terms of the emotions you go through when adding another baby to a family, I'd accept change in my life a million times over.

Change has been happening steadily in our house for the past two weeks. Terry and I have both been knee deep in interviews, prepping for unknown questions, ironing our fancy clothes and stressing out to the max.

But change is good. Like having a new baby, right?
That's what I keep telling myself at least.

In the midst of Terry's job search, I've made the big decision myself to switch schools when I return from mat leave. It was one of the hardest decisions that I've had to make in a very long time.

Stress. Feelings of being overwhelmed. They've all been running rampant throughout our house.

But after realizing that I wanted desperately to stay in Kindergarten and knowing that there weren't opportunities at my school for anything but full time K teachers, I knew that I had to make the big decision to  look elsewhere. So I applied and thankfully had three interviews in less than 24hrs and two job offers for exactly what I wanted.

So here I sit, in the midst of change. A new school. A new staff. New kids. New everything.

But change is good. So good.

I'm looking forward to the kids, as I purposely sought out a school where I felt like I could really make a difference. It'll be tough, no doubt, with the population that I'll be teaching. There will be kids whose experiences in life will far outweigh anything that I've ever had to endure. There will be kids who will come to school hungry. There will be kids who will come to school broken. And there will be kids who will come to school whole and ready to learn. I know I'll love them. Especially the ones who are hard to love some days.

But it'll be amazing. With hard, comes good. And I think it'll be great.

So to all of my amazing friends at my old school...I will miss you each and every day as I take on this big change next year. I will miss the before-school chatting in the halls, the kids, the laughter in the staffroom, the airconditioning (oh I'll miss that A LOT) and those amazing front doors that open like the ones at Zehrs. Sigh. I'll miss those a ton.

But with change comes great things. So I'll take this change and make something good out of it. And I'll make sure to set up some coffee dates with my very missed buddies from the school that I'll forever miss.

Erica xox  

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