Monday, 19 March 2012

New baby on the way!

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     So our big news that we've been trying to (unsuccessfully) keep a secret for the past three months is finally out...we're having another baby! The nausea, incredible fatigue and tight pants are all telling me that this wee baby is growing just as perfectly as Mya once did in my belly. Hellllooooo stretchy pants! Here is how we broke the news to our family...handed them each an envelope telling them we were having a party.

     I don't think I'll ever get over the reality of what is happening in my body. I'm just in awe, yet again, that I'm actually growing a tiny human being complete with every exact pore, wrinkle and cell that he/she is supposed to have. I still remember just staring at Mya when she was born and examining every inch of her. I was just in awe of the miracle that was in front of me. I can't wait for that amazing feeling to fill me once again with this new baby.

      The incredible thing about this pregnancy though, this time round, is that I knew that I was pregnant before even taking the test. The nausea hit me so quickly and the cramping started right away, just as it did with my first pregnancy. Terry would look at me laying on the couch, trying to ease even an ounce of the nausea that I was feeling..and he'd smile at me saying "You're so pregnant". I thought that I might be too, but I didn't really believe it. It took so long for us to get pregnant with Mya, but this time round if it was true, it would mean that it happened on the first try. Not possible.

     The day that we finally found out that I was pregnant was such a crazy day. Mya and I were at Val's for the day and at 5:30pm I got Mya bundled up in her snowsuit, I strapped her into her car seat, put Meika (our dog) in the back of our SUV and started driving home. Of course this is the one day that I decided that I would take the expressway home instead of the back roads.

      It takes me a little over half an hour to get home from Val's. So when we were about half way home, driving in rush hour traffic on the expressway, cars flying by us, Mya started crying in the backseat. I could tell this was a cry like nothing I had heard was coughing and crying at the same time. And the dog started crying along with her. She knew something was wrong too.

     Then it started. Mya was throwing up all over the backseat, coughing, choking. My heart sank, panic set in and I tried to remain calm as a million thoughts ran through my head as cars sped by and there was nowhere where I could easily pull over. All I kept thinking, as I was trying to find a safe spot to pull over, was "Why on earth did I decide to take the expressway today?".

     When I finally found a relatively safe spot, I quickly pulled over, turned my flashers on, turned off the car and climbed into the backseat to find my poor little girl completely covered in vomit, with more coming up. With my heart pounding as I watched cars speed by us, I took a deep breath and started taking Mya out of her car seat. I pulled her out and she continued to be sick all over the place, while screaming and crying at the same time. As I pulled her out she held her little sweet arms out to me, just wanting me to hold her close. I had a moment of realizing that THIS is what true love really is. My sweet little baby, covered in vomit, continuing to throw up all over me...but it was okay, I told myself, because what she needed I could provide. I held her close, had a little moment of cringing at the feel of vomit all over me...and let her nuzzle in as I kissed her head and tried to comfort her through it. I felt in that moment that I was officially placed into the real world of motherhood.
   When she finally settled, I stripped her down, wiped off her face and used a plastic bag that I just happened to have in the car to clean up what I could in her car seat. Thankfully I had new clothes in her diaper bag, so I used my own sweater to wipe her body clean and put a new shirt on her as I tried to avoid the mess that surrounded us. I put my poor baby back in her disaster of a car seat and knew that all that I could do was try to get her home as quickly as possible.
    I knew that Terry wouldn't be home yet from work when I got home, so I prayed with all of my might that my dad may have dropped by our place to work on our basement that night.
    My prayers were answered as I drove up and saw his car on our street. As the adrenaline eased and the tears started coming, I carried my poor child into the house calling for my dad to come help me. He took one look at us, completely covered in vomit, Mya and I now both teary eyed and he told me everything would be alright and he immediately went outside.

      As I stripped both of us down and put Mya into the bath, I knew that my dad was cleaning the incredible mess in my car. That again, is TRUE love from a parent. Funny how the cycle of love, in the matter of an hour, was being repeated.
     When Terry got home, he helped my dad finish up the huge clean up and I put Mya to bed. That's when the moment happened that will now change our lives forever.

      When Mya was asleep, and the house was now calm, I told Terry I was going to go take a pregnancy test. I was calm as I said it, since I was expecting and preparing mysef to be disappointed. But he quickly said "I want to see it first this time!".

     So looking away, I put the test on the floor and turned my back. Terry's eyes were locked on that little test as the little hourglass kept flipping up and down...then all he said was "Oh my gosh". And I quickly turned to see the word "Pregnant" on that little test staring back at me.

      We stared at each other, bug eyed, smiling and laughing and not knowing what to do or say. I remember saying "I think I need a paper bag to breath into" since I was so out of breath, not believing or feeling prepared for what I was seeing. I thought it would take at least a year for us to get pregnant again, if we were lucky. But all it took was one time. I just couldn't believe it. We always wanted our kids to be 2yrs apart, but we never thought that we would be so lucky since we were expecting another long road ahead in trying to get pregnant again.
     We both went to sleep that night staring at each other, exhausted from the crazy events of the day and smiling in disbelief at this miracle that was given to us so easily this time round. How blessed we feel. We aren't taking a second of this pregnancy for granted, we're relishing in the miracle of it all and we're trying to savour each moment as we realize how lucky we are to be so privileged to be pregnant again. I don't know how you can't be happy at the prospect of a new life emerging. We have already experienced some negativity about this pregnancy and it boggles my mind to think that anyone can be anything but excited about a new life. It's a miracle, it's a blessing, it's everything that we've ever wanted. And we're beyond excited about it.

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