Thursday, 27 September 2012

A lesson in patience

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     Parenthood isn't always easy. It isn't always roses. But man, is it ever worth it.

      It can sometimes feel like you're all alone in your everyone else is floating through parenthood and/or life without the hardships, struggles, fears and tough experiences that you're going through. But what I'm learning is that we're all actually connected. A lot of  my experiences are others experiences as well. Sometimes we just don't talk about it enough.

     Today was a day that tested my patience as a mom and that made me realize that with the good, the easy and the wonderful also comes the tough and the difficult. I'm getting to the point in this pregnancy where I'm feeling huge, uncomfortable and sore (38 weeks will do that to you). I'm not sleeping well at night, I'm continually having painful Braxton Hicks contractions and everyday simple things are now becoming so difficult for me to do. It's not surprising though--it's all part of this very important process, which is okay since it means that our wee baby is growing as he should, tucked away in the warmth of my body. But I'm definitely feeling anxious and impatient these days, wanting this baby to now come and eager to see what he looks like and to kiss his little cheeks.

     But it's not just being uncomfortable and sore that is difficult these days. It's really hard running after an (almost) 2yr old who is asserting her independence, her opinions and her will as her little 2yr old self is developmentally supposed to be doing. Some days though are really hard.

     Today was one of those days, complete with temper tantrums, crying and meltdowns which left her mama exhausted. These are the days when it can feel like you're the only one experiencing these things. Please people, tell me that you've either gone through this or are going through this as well with your 2yr olds...or feel free to lie to me so that I can at least feel better about it.

     Although these days are exhausting, they're also certainly the best lessons in patience. It's these moments that teach us to stay calm, to take a deep breath and to look past the tantrums and into the eyes of what our children need. This is where my favourite quote of "Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I really need it" comes into play. You've just got to love them through it.

     It's these days when I say to Terry, "How do parents who have no patience, who have violent tendencies or who are simply overwhelmed to their breaking point deal with this?" Terry and I are absolutely determined that our children will never EVER know what it feels like to get spanked or experience any other form of physical pain in order to discipline them (and good Lord help me if I ever find out that anyone else ever chooses to spank her, grab her arm or use any other type of force to discipline her themselves...they'd see a mother bear side of me that no one has ever seen before--I can guarantee that).

     What I've learned though from these types of tough days is that it's important to step back and take a moment to breathe, find all that unconditional mommy love that you can muster..then send out an S.O.S. to the people in your life. Her Nana and Papa, for example, insisted that they get to keep her for a sleepover tonight so that Terry and I can sleep in tomorrow morning and Jen convinced me to set up a pre-natal massage appointment for tomorrow. I already miss my girl like crazy and Terry and I have already discussed at least three times that we both just want to go drive over and scoop her up and take her back home since we're both aching for her so much. But I'm learning that it's important to let others help sometimes in order to take care of yourself...especially when you're this close to giving birth and exhausted beyond belief. Terry and I went and had a romantic dinner sans child at McDonald's tonight (to fulfil our little tradition of going to McDonald's once during each pregnancy--something we never do otherwise), then went for a nice evening walk together (past bedtime!) and we've had the chance tonight to get the last few things ready for this baby's arrival.

     I already feel rejuvenated. With a little rest, a little downtime and a lot of love around us, I feel so much better already. I just can't wait to see my girl tomorrow and hear about all of the fun she had with her Nana and Papa--while we just missed her like crazy.

P.S. Do you know of any other little girl who gets THIS excited about seeing pigs playing together on Youtube? Cutest thing ever.

   Off to bed now, looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow morning then picking up my girl asap!

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