Friday, 9 March 2012

terrible horrible no good very bad day (well, kinda)

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     Yesterday was a day that made me want to just crawl into bed, turn out the lights and be done with the day. 

      I have a theory that I shouldn't allow myself to have a horrible day all day long. Sure, you're allowed to have bad moments in the day (we all do). But I always try to snap myself out of it and purposely try to find something to make me feel happier so that my whole day isn't wasted. It might just be by heading over to Bulk Barn and buying a huge bag of chocolate caramel balls (my absolute favourite), or cranking up the tunes as loudly as I can and forcing a song to make me feel better, or cleaning something (somehow I always feel better after cleaning), or watching trashy tv or taking my dog for a walk and not coming home until I've walked myself out of my funk. But Thursday was a day that really tested my usual ability to snap myself out of it.

Insert happy photo from the day here:

     I have Thursdays off since I'm working part time and so this is the one day of my week that I absolute cherish because it's one of the only days in my week that I get to wake up and Mya and I get to stay in our jammies as long as we want to. We can have a slow, lovely breakfast and just enjoy eachother. We can choose to stay at home or go out..the day is totally up to us. And I love it.
    But this past Thursday didn't exactly go as planned.

   Mya woke up whining and crying and she didn't stop all morning long. Everything was a battle (and this little 16month old certainly put up a good fight). From getting her dressed, changing her diaper, eating breakfast, to offering her toys...everything was done with screaming, crying and squirming out of my arms. Terry just looked at me and he kissed my forehead as he headed out the door for work that morning and said "I'm sorry. Try to have a good day" (knowing the reality of that comment was asking the impossible).
    As this little mini human being fell to the floor (just to add some drama to the screaming) and thrashed around throwing a real, true full blown temper tantrum I took some deep breaths and told myself over and over again that this is my lesson in patience for the day. But when the screaming continued on for the next 2hrs with no breaking even when her most beloved toys were offered to her, I felt my head spinning.
     Oh how I wanted to yell..I knew it would make me feel so much better. But I just kept reminding myself to be patient and not lose my cool. So after many many deep breaths, I pulled all my mommy love and patience that I could muster and I calmly told Mya to finish her temper tantrum because we're going outside (convincing myself that she could actually really hear me). So I called my sister, with Mya screaming bloody murder in the background, and told her we were going for a walk and we were going NOW.
     Jen lives just a street over from me, so I wrestled Mya's boots and coat on her (which is really not so easy with a screaming, kicking child) and I put her snow pants, hats, mitts and blanket in the stroller with the hopes of being able to get her settled enough to finish dressing her mid-walk. I then grabbed my dog, somehow managed to strap Mya into the stroller and we headed towards Jen's house.
     Jen just laughed at me when she saw me walking towards her. Mya's half dressed, I look frazzled and the dog is pulling me down the street. Geeze.

     I've learned though just how much I appreciate the outdoors now. Somehow the magic of being outside cures everything. Bad moods can't last long when you have the wind blowing at your back, birds chirping, trees swaying and the crunch of snow at your feet. It's like a magic pill that seems to work every time. And it did work. Mya was quiet, actively taking in the world as she was pushed down the wet, snow-melted streets. We managed to get the blanket wrapped around her legs, hat and mitts on and spent almost an hour walking through our beautiful neighbourhood. It felt good, and both Mya and I were definitely out of our funk. I was exhausted, but the grumps were gone.
      Our day got much better by noon since our wonderful neighbour (who is also on mat leave) came over to my house with an amazing lunch that she had made for Jen and I.

We spent the early afternoon eating delicious lasagna, salad and a beautiful cake that she had made while both Jen and her nursed their wee babies and Mya ran around our feet quite happily showing off her fancy sunglasses.

    I thought for sure that our day could only continue to go uphill from this point on...however, I was apparently very wrong. With more screaming and complaining to come as she woke from her nap, I immediately got her bundled up and we went straight outside again. I was determined to make sure that the rest of our day wasn't as tough as our morning. It was muddy, wet, cold, quite miserable out actually...but the magic of outside worked once again. I figured the muddier the better.

Nothing better than finding broken dirty dog toys under the piles of melted snow

      So I encouraged her and clapped for her when she stomped in puddles, and laughed when she went straight for the pile of mud behind our shed. I just relished in the joy of watching her explore, play with the dog and get dirty playing under our deck (and oh, did she ever get dirty).

     Her whole snowsuit, hat and mitts went straight into the washing machine when we got inside and I had to give the dog a mini bath with a bucket outside before I let her in our kitchen...but it was worth it.
     In the end, here is what I've learned about bad days:
-do whatever you need to do to snap yourself out of it before it eats up your whole day
-go outside
-eat a good meal with friends
-send an S.O.S. out to your family and make them come FAST!

By the time Terry got home we had cleaned the mud out of our hair, my dad had come over, my sister was there too and we were playing in the basement as if the day had been wonderful from the moment we woke up.

     Our sweet little munchkin ran to greet her daddy with that same little smile that melts us every day and she splashed and laughed as she always does as we gave her a bath that night. Our funk was definitely gone and my sweet little Mya was back.

    I always think to myself "What if I die tomorrow and this is the last day that I have on earth. How do I want to spend it and what do I want people to remember about me?" It's what gets me through those tough days because I unfortunately have had too many experiences in life which have taught me the reality of life and how fragile it actually is. I don't want to waste a moment of it (and certainly not an entire day). If Thursday was my last day on earth I know that I can at least look back and know that I tried my best. I didn't lose my cool on Mya, I loved her and was patient with her through the tears and screaming and I tried my best to turn our day around while recruiting the help that I needed. I wasn't at my absolute best that day as there were many moments when I thought I was going to lose my mind, but I tried.
     The funk is definitely out of our house. Thank goodness. Looking forward to our chocolate chip pancakes tomorrow morning and the start of a new day.


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