terrible horrible no good very bad day (well, kinda)

     




     Yesterday was a day that made me want to just crawl into bed, turn out the lights and be done with the day. 

      I have a theory that I shouldn't allow myself to have a horrible day all day long. Sure, you're allowed to have bad moments in the day (we all do). But I always try to snap myself out of it and purposely try to find something to make me feel happier so that my whole day isn't wasted. It might just be by heading over to Bulk Barn and buying a huge bag of chocolate caramel balls (my absolute favourite), or cranking up the tunes as loudly as I can and forcing a song to make me feel better, or cleaning something (somehow I always feel better after cleaning), or watching trashy tv or taking my dog for a walk and not coming home until I've walked myself out of my funk. But Thursday was a day that really tested my usual ability to snap myself out of it.

Insert happy photo from the day here:

    
     I have Thursdays off since I'm working part time and so this is the one day of my week that I absolute cherish because it's one of the only days in my week that I get to wake up and Mya and I get to stay in our jammies as long as we want to. We can have a slow, lovely breakfast and just enjoy eachother. We can choose to stay at home or go out..the day is totally up to us. And I love it.
    But this past Thursday didn't exactly go as planned.

   Mya woke up whining and crying and she didn't stop all morning long. Everything was a battle (and this little 16month old certainly put up a good fight). From getting her dressed, changing her diaper, eating breakfast, to offering her toys...everything was done with screaming, crying and squirming out of my arms. Terry just looked at me and he kissed my forehead as he headed out the door for work that morning and said "I'm sorry. Try to have a good day" (knowing the reality of that comment was asking the impossible).
 
    As this little mini human being fell to the floor (just to add some drama to the screaming) and thrashed around throwing a real, true full blown temper tantrum I took some deep breaths and told myself over and over again that this is my lesson in patience for the day. But when the screaming continued on for the next 2hrs with no breaking even when her most beloved toys were offered to her, I felt my head spinning.
     Oh how I wanted to yell..I knew it would make me feel so much better. But I just kept reminding myself to be patient and not lose my cool. So after many many deep breaths, I pulled all my mommy love and patience that I could muster and I calmly told Mya to finish her temper tantrum because we're going outside (convincing myself that she could actually really hear me). So I called my sister, with Mya screaming bloody murder in the background, and told her we were going for a walk and we were going NOW.
     Jen lives just a street over from me, so I wrestled Mya's boots and coat on her (which is really not so easy with a screaming, kicking child) and I put her snow pants, hats, mitts and blanket in the stroller with the hopes of being able to get her settled enough to finish dressing her mid-walk. I then grabbed my dog, somehow managed to strap Mya into the stroller and we headed towards Jen's house.
    
     Jen just laughed at me when she saw me walking towards her. Mya's half dressed, I look frazzled and the dog is pulling me down the street. Geeze.

     I've learned though just how much I appreciate the outdoors now. Somehow the magic of being outside cures everything. Bad moods can't last long when you have the wind blowing at your back, birds chirping, trees swaying and the crunch of snow at your feet. It's like a magic pill that seems to work every time. And it did work. Mya was quiet, actively taking in the world as she was pushed down the wet, snow-melted streets. We managed to get the blanket wrapped around her legs, hat and mitts on and spent almost an hour walking through our beautiful neighbourhood. It felt good, and both Mya and I were definitely out of our funk. I was exhausted, but the grumps were gone.
    
      Our day got much better by noon since our wonderful neighbour (who is also on mat leave) came over to my house with an amazing lunch that she had made for Jen and I.

We spent the early afternoon eating delicious lasagna, salad and a beautiful cake that she had made while both Jen and her nursed their wee babies and Mya ran around our feet quite happily showing off her fancy sunglasses.

     

    I thought for sure that our day could only continue to go uphill from this point on...however, I was apparently very wrong. With more screaming and complaining to come as she woke from her nap, I immediately got her bundled up and we went straight outside again. I was determined to make sure that the rest of our day wasn't as tough as our morning. It was muddy, wet, cold, quite miserable out actually...but the magic of outside worked once again. I figured the muddier the better.

Nothing better than finding broken dirty dog toys under the piles of melted snow

      So I encouraged her and clapped for her when she stomped in puddles, and laughed when she went straight for the pile of mud behind our shed. I just relished in the joy of watching her explore, play with the dog and get dirty playing under our deck (and oh, did she ever get dirty).

     Her whole snowsuit, hat and mitts went straight into the washing machine when we got inside and I had to give the dog a mini bath with a bucket outside before I let her in our kitchen...but it was worth it.
     In the end, here is what I've learned about bad days:
-do whatever you need to do to snap yourself out of it before it eats up your whole day
-go outside
-eat a good meal with friends
-send an S.O.S. out to your family and make them come FAST!

By the time Terry got home we had cleaned the mud out of our hair, my dad had come over, my sister was there too and we were playing in the basement as if the day had been wonderful from the moment we woke up.

     Our sweet little munchkin ran to greet her daddy with that same little smile that melts us every day and she splashed and laughed as she always does as we gave her a bath that night. Our funk was definitely gone and my sweet little Mya was back.

    I always think to myself "What if I die tomorrow and this is the last day that I have on earth. How do I want to spend it and what do I want people to remember about me?" It's what gets me through those tough days because I unfortunately have had too many experiences in life which have taught me the reality of life and how fragile it actually is. I don't want to waste a moment of it (and certainly not an entire day). If Thursday was my last day on earth I know that I can at least look back and know that I tried my best. I didn't lose my cool on Mya, I loved her and was patient with her through the tears and screaming and I tried my best to turn our day around while recruiting the help that I needed. I wasn't at my absolute best that day as there were many moments when I thought I was going to lose my mind, but I tried.
     The funk is definitely out of our house. Thank goodness. Looking forward to our chocolate chip pancakes tomorrow morning and the start of a new day.
    
    
     

 

Super easy breakfast in a hurry

   




     So I don't know about you, but I think one of the hardest things to do is to get out of bed and out the door in the morning. I'm exhausted just dragging myself out of bed and then my eyes are constantly on the clock, making sure that I'm getting each step of my morning routine done on time so I'm not late for work. I wish that mornings could be more relaxed, slower and more enjoyable. I wish we could have more little morning moments like this...

    But the reality is that it's tough to get up with energy, enthusiasm for the day and a smile on my face. I'm trying to learn from Mya on how to start my days right. She wakes up ready to run, ready to laugh at everything we do and ready to start her wonderful day without a care in the world. It's like she wakes up every day thinking that it's the best day that she's ever had (and it's only just begun!). I'm working on getting as good at mornings as she is. She's an expert.

    She can do things like take her toothbrush and her dad's belt and find such fun and joy in them both. Somehow dragging a belt around is simply hilarious. Literally every morning it's just as funny to her as the day before. I need to find something to do every morning that brings me that much joy and laughter. I'm working on it.

       The days before I started back to work after being on mat leave I thought a lot about mornings. I was so stressed about the idea of getting out of the door on time, because now all of a sudden it wasn't just me who had to be ready. I had a 15month old who also had to be ready, fed, dressed, diapered, bag packed, loved on, bundled up and put in her car seat (which usually involves at least a bit of kicking and screaming) before even leaving the driveway for work. I also had to leave enough time to drop her off at daycare (which is thankfully in my school, but I still didn't want to just  drop her off and run. I wanted to hold onto her as long as I could before I stepped out the door and left her for the day).

     So Terry and I sat down days before I started back and we actually made a morning plan so that we both weren't stressed about getting out the door. I kind of like mornings now...I don't love them, but I like them (sometimes). I like that there's no thought to it anymore since we both know what we need to do (and when/by what time we need to be doing things). We help eachother, we get our stuff done and we've learned to do most of the work the night before (ie. setting out Mya's clothes, our own clothes and making our lunches). 

    In a nutshell, here is how our mornings usually go:
    
1) wake up by our own personal (yet very cute) alarm clock. She's up around 6:15am (or 5:00am on weekends when we can technically sleep in of course).

2) Terry gets up and goes straight downstairs and makes Mya's scrambled eggs, cuts up her fruit and gets her bib and everything out. I go in and change her diaper, get her dressed and get my morning cuddles.

3) I drop her off in her highchair for breakfast with Terry, and I go shower and get completely ready. When I'm done, I go eat breakfast with Mya on my lap while Terry goes and showers and gets ready.

4) We both bundle Mya up, get her bag of cloth diapers packed for daycare and head out the door together. Oh and of course throw in the occasional Mya meltdown, forgotten lunch and "I really have nothing to wear" disaster.

So..seems pretty easy peasy most mornings. However, I thought one of the things that could cut down on our morning rush even more was if Mya's breakfast was already made. Since she eats eggs every morning it means there's always time needed to actually make the eggs, and then you're now stuck with cleaning a pan/spatula every morning. So I decided to find a way to pre-make all her eggs in one day so our mornings could be a little slower and more enjoyable. Welcome to mini omelets in a muffin tin.
  
Here is how I did it:

1) grab about 16 eggs, crack them into a bowl and mix' em up with a fork.

2) add whatever you'd like, or nothing at all (I just added cheese and diced green peppers)

If you don't have a chopper...YOU NEED ONE. This is the best thing in the world. Throw some green peppers (or anything else you want chopped up) and with one push you've got beautiful diced food. Brilliant! I use mine all the time (and conveniently, you can chop up anything using only one hand when you have a baby on your hip).

3) butter/spray your muffin tins REALLY REALLY well and using a soup ladle, pour the eggs in.

4) put in oven at 350 for about 20-25mins and watch as they puff up beautifully!

5) let cool, remove from pan and put them in the freezer. I put each one individually in a ziplock bag to ensure that they didn't all freeze together, but I'm sure there are other ways to freeze them as well.

Now all we have to do is take a muffin egg out of the freezer the night before, heat it up in the morning and serve it to Mya for the quickest breakfast ever. No work, no mess,
no fuss = more time and a little bit of a slower, more enjoyable morning. Hallelujah.

An unexpected birth at the farm

   




       I've decided that I love how life can be so unexpected at times. I'm usually a big planner. I like to have a plan. I like to know what is going to happen. I like to feel prepared and I like to feel organized with what is happening in my life. However, I've recently started to let life just happen and let go of some of my plans.
      It all started when Terry and I started planning our pregnancy with Mya. I had it all planned out. I was going to have a summer baby (obviously ideal for a teacher). We were going to start trying to get pregnant at a certain date, and we would therefore be pregnant by the appropriate date and it would all line up perfectly with my career and my life in general. However, I learned pretty quickly that none of that was going to work out the way that I had planned and I obviously had no control at all over it. It was probably one of the hardest (but best) lessons that life could have taught me. Sometimes it's not always good to plan. Sometimes you can miss out on the little moments in life when you plan out every aspect of what you think life is supposed to be. I also learned that life will happen the way that it is supposed to happen and everything happens for a reason.

        We learned after Mya was born that regardless of what I had originally planned, she actually came at the absolute perfect time. Only a few weeks after Mya was born, my mom was attacked. She is a nurse and was working alone in the middle of the night in the lower level of the hospital, with noone around, and a male patient began to physically attack her. I can only imagine how terrifying that must have been as she screamed out for help while noone could hear her. She had the bruises and scrapes to prove how horrible this incident really was. She ended up taking time off of work after this happened and spent the majority of these days at my house holding and loving on her newborn granddaughter.

      We realized in this moment that Mya could not have come at a more perfect time. There's nothing like newborn therapy and after calling my mom tonight to check to see if it was okay if I wrote about this, my mom reminded me that she still believes that she couldn't have gotten through that experience without Mya.
   
     Anyways, my point is that I've finally learned that although I will still try to plan certain aspects of my life, I will also try to just trust and enjoy the unexpected and spontanious things that make life so wonderful. Mya and I, for example, were looking after Val this past Tuesday as we do every week. However, something amazingly incredible happened this week that we were so priviledged to witness. When one of Val's nurses showed up, I decided it was the perfect time to be able to get Mya out of the house to get some fresh air and a change of scenery, while knowing that Val had someone caring for her for a few minutes. So I got Mya all bundled up and we headed outside.
    Val and Brad live on a beef farm, so I love that Mya gets to learn all about cows and farm life from them (and what a fun thing to be able to just walk out the front door and see fields and cows right infront of you). Mya's first animal noise was even "mooo", from showing her the cows every week. Anyways, we walked towards the barn with my dog tearing past us, excited that there were finally people to play with outside. I brought Mya over to the bails of hay and she waddled around taking in all of the new smells and interesting things around her.

     I then brought her over to see the cows. As we approached these massive animals, I noticed something white laying on the ground in then pen. I moved up to get a closer look and realized that it was actually a little baby calf that had literally JUST been born. The white that I saw was the birthing sac that the calf was still in, and the mother cow was gently trying to tear it off of her new baby. It was the most incredible thing to witness. I was just in awe, trying to take it all in. I held Mya and excitedly tried to explain to her what was happening, as she just stared intently, watching as closely as I was. I wish I knew what was going through her little head. But I know that she knew it was something extrordinary as she silently watched.

I couldn't get a great shot since there were so many huge cows in the way, but you can see the mom to the left of the pic  pulling the sac off of the calf lying on the ground. The sac at this point was still around the baby's head, so she had to quickly rip if off so that the calf didn't suffocate.

      We continued to watch as the new mother licked her baby clean while nudging it, trying to encourage it to breathe. As we watched this miracle happen infront of us, I was overwhelmed by this unexpected moment that Mya and I were having together. I hadn't planned this. I didn't know that our venture outside that day would end in this type of experience. And I love that it reminded me that some moments in life shouldn't (and can't) be planned.

     However, as we contined to watch this amazing little calf being licked clean, I started getting worried. This baby calf had been born outside, in the winter, on the mud, and it was cold. I don't know a thing about cows and the birthing process, but I did remember a story Brad told me about having to bring a baby calf actually into his house to warm it up since it was so cold even in the barn for the new calf. So I quickly left the cows and started back for the house so we could call Brad to come home to do whatever he needed to do for this new little life.

    But on the way there, we ran into Brad's dad who just happened to be working in the barn, helping Brad out that day. I told him about the calf that had just been born, and he quickly went over to check out the situation. As we stood by the fence, watching the mom continue the natural instinctual process of cleaning her baby, Brad's dad started telling Mya and I all about the cows, the birthing process and the details of when and why the mother cow was doing what she was doing. I felt like Mya and I were on our own little personal field trip with a farmer. It was just a magical moment.

And this is what happens when you think you're all brave and march up to the cows, only to have one of the cows let out a huge "MOOO!". Poor little thing.

       

       Although I've been waiting literally for years to actually see a calf being born on this farm, this was better than I expected since there was something amazing about being there just Mya and I and walking into this miraculous, unexpected scene just the two of us. I'm sure one day I'll get the chance to actually see a calf being born, but I love how this moment with Mya made me realize that life is full of unexpected moments and if you try to plan them all out for youself, somehow the magic in the unpredictable is lost.

Everything...Is...Organized!

    




     When you really think about it, this life that we're given is quite an incredible thing. We have the power to make our lives whatever we want them to be. We can decide if we want to be happy, miserable, cheerful or sad. We can decide what kind of person we want to be and how we want to use our life. It can sometimes feels like we don't have these options, since life will certainly throw us some pretty stressful, heartbreaking situations. But in the end, we have the ability to decide how we are going to react to each of the situations that we're forced to go through. I grew up with my parents always saying to me "You may not be able to control that this is happening, but you can decide how you are going to react to it". Wise words mom and dad. 
     My sister Val is a prime example of this. In the midst of an incredibly difficult, stressful situation, she is choosing to continue to live a life of joy, love and happiness. She is incredibly ill and has been completely bedridden for almost four years now. She lives in a hospital bed in her living room, hooked up to an IV and a feeding tube with her husband sleeping beside her at night. It's not any kind of life that she or any of us want for her (or her husband) and it's an absolutely heartbreaking situation in every way possible. However, out of this terrible situation she manages to always think of others, do sweet thoughtful things for those in her world and reminds everyone who she comes in contact with that life is too fragile and precious to waste. So when she told me that she wanted to get her living room more organized, I wasn't surprised. She is a proactive kind of person and has learned how to create a life for herself and her husband within the circumstances that she has been forced to live in (which is something that we can all learn from). So instead of living in something that she didn't want to be living in anymore..she chose to do something about it, and asked for the help. What a good lesson she teaches us all. Don't just think about doing it...actually go out and get it done (and if you can't do it yourself, ask for help).

Mya's favourite cuddle spot on Val...

        I knew that in organizing her surroundings, it also meant that it would make her feel like her world was more controlled, peaceful and happy...so what a privilege to be able to do this for her.  Mya and I spend the entire day with her every Tuesday looking after her since she requires 24hr care and help with meds, etc. (which is great since that also means that we had the time to start a big task like this and actually get it finished). So after mapping out a bit of a plan, we got to work. This pic below is the final product of organizing all of her card-making supplies.

        Val is a card-making queen, so she has a ton of card-making/scrapbooking/stamping supplies that she wanted all organized. It was important that we organized it in a specific way so that she could easily ask someone to bring one box or basket to her bed and it would contain everything that she needed. So after I made the biggest mess in the world all over her floor while sorting, categorizing and creating a variety of piles, we managed to get everything into order and neatly into nice little boxes. If you're looking to do something similar to this in your own home, this storage unit was from Ikea, along with the 2 large baskets and the 2 white boxes. The smaller plastic boxes are actually tackle boxes (yes, for fishing!) and they're from Canadian Tire. These tackle boxes are perfect for all of the little jewels and decorative pieces that you have when you're a card-maker/scrapbooker. I just made the little labels on Val's computer, backed them with green scrapbook paper and used packing tape to stick them to the containers.

I made little labels, wrapped them in packing tape and tied them to the boxes with pretty ribbon.

 If you're stuck like we were, where we didn't have enough storage containers/boxes when it was all said and done (and we didn't have the ability to just go out and buy more that day), here is a quick little trick:

    

      Use cardboard boxes and wrap them in scrapbook paper or pretty fabric. These are medicine boxes, but diaper boxes work really well since they're nice and sturdy--and easily accessible, especially if you've got little ones. If I had had more time I would have wrapped these boxes entirely in this scrapbook paper, but since you can really only see the front of these boxes on this particular shelf (until you pull them out), I decided that the front was better than nothing. Just use scissors to cut the flaps off of the top of the box and you're ready to wrap them.

     We also organized all of her clothes using another Ikea shelving unit, some baskets and some Dollarama plastic bins. I chose the same green/white/brown combo for the labels so that the room all coordinated. Again, I just wrapped the labels in packing tape, used a hole punch and strung ribbon through them and attached them to the containers. Val also had the fancy idea of using double sided tape to attach plastic bags to the insides of these wooden baskets so that her clothes wouldn't get snagged or caught on them. Brilliant.

      You walk into her living room now and it looks so good. Everything has a place, all of the nurses, PSW's and everyone else who cares for Val knows where everything is supposed to go and everything is easily accessible.

     Once I was finished at Val's house, I was even more inspired to continue to tackle my own house. Picking one space at a time, I started with my walk-in closet and managed to come up with almost 4 garbage bags full of clothes for Goodwill. My closet was just so overwhelming to me since I knew it would take FOREVER to go through. And really, I don't have the luxury of time anymore since apparently 16month olds don't really like to organize...it's really more fun to disorganize when you're a kid. Much more exciting. So it took me over a week to finish, but when I put Mya down to bed at night I'd just tackle one little part of my closet at a time. You can't see here in this pic because of the angle, but the closet continues back further where I have all my dresses, pants and shoes as well. So it was a big undertaking to even start this chore. But I did it. I just organized it so that all of my summer stuff is on one side, winter on the other, sweaters on top and jewelry is all nicely organized at the back. There's nothing too fancy about it, but it makes me happy to know that all of the clothes infront of me are clothes that fit, clothes that I will wear and I love that my jewelry is all organized too.

I also organized all of my cards that I keep in my closet--sorted them all and made little tags so they are now all easily accessible

       The next thing that I tackled was our cupboard in our kitchen that seems to hold all of the random things that we use on a daily basis. This cupboard was a disaster. It's where we keep the dog food, our tea towels, etc etc. and it always stressed me out whenever I opened it and couldn't find anything that I needed. So with a few Dollarama bins, some labels that I made (re-using the labels that I used for Jen and Jeff's baby shower), I also managed to finish this one while our sweetpea was fast asleep at night. It wasn't as difficult as my closet, so it only took maybe 2 nights to finish.

Ok, that's all! I need to go take a nap now after all of that. But my goodness does it ever feel good to have order in my house and it feels even better that I was able to bring order and peace to someone else's house. Goodnight!  

Farm/Golf Cake